Preparing Your Child for the Transition:
Tips for Adapting to Your Return to Work
Returning to work after having a child can be a challenging transition for the whole family.
Preparing your child for this shift, establishing new routines, and managing any separation anxiety— both yours and theirs—can help smooth the journey. Here are some tips to help make this change a positive experience, enhancing your connection with your little one and giving you peace of mind.
Introduce New Routines Early
Establishing new routines a few weeks before your return to work can help your child feel secure and confident. Children thrive on consistency, so creating a predictable schedule around your departure and return times will make the transition less daunting for them. Try implementing a new morning routine, gradually introducing time with their caregiver, and preparing them for a longer day without you.
Start by making small adjustments, like changing the order of activities (breakfast, playtime, etc.), so that your child becomes familiar with the new flow. This could mean having someone else, like your partner or another family member, handle some tasks, such as getting them dressed or putting them down for naps. That way, your child starts to adapt to other trusted people helping them with daily needs, easing the shift when you’re not there.
Use Positive Language and Be Transparent
When talking to your child about returning to work, use simple, positive language. Explain that you’ll be going to work to help take care of the family, and that you’ll always come back at a certain time. Even young children pick up on emotional cues, so try to keep your tone upbeat and confident.
You might say, “Mummy is going to work for a little while, but I’ll be back to play with you after!”
Using language that frames the transition as something positive can help them feel more secure and avoid feelings of abandonment.
Introduce Comforting Items and Familiar Faces
Comfort items can provide a sense of security for children when they’re away from their primary caregiver. Consider leaving a favorite toy, blanket, or even a piece of clothing with them. Sometimes, a small item with your scent on it can help your child feel connected to you throughout the day.
If your child will be with a familiar face, like a grandparent or regular caregiver, let them spend time together in advance. Building a relationship with this person beforehand will help your child feel safe and supported. For younger children, a short goodbye routine with a reassuring goodbye, like a kiss on the hand, can be comforting and signal to them that it’s time to separate for a while
Managing Separation Anxiety
Strategies for Your Child
Separation anxiety is a natural part of development, and it can peak when children experience big changes, like a parent returning to work. Practice short periods of separation to help them gradually get used to your absence. You could step out of the room briefly and let your child know you’ll be back, increasing the time apart as they become more comfortable.
Establishing a goodbye ritual, like a special phrase or hug, can also help. This ritual reassures them that goodbyes are temporary, and that you’ll always come back.
Managing Your Own Separation Anxiety
It’s natural for you to feel anxious about leaving your child, especially if this is your first time returning to work. It’s okay to feel a range of emotions, from guilt to worry. Remember that you’re setting an example for your child, showing them that they’re loved and secure even when you’re not with them.
Give yourself grace and find support from friends, family, or a parenting group. Talking to others who have been through the transition can help normalise your feelings and provide helpful insights on coping. Don’t hesitate to set boundaries at work to maintain a balance that honours your emotional needs. Check in with yourself and celebrate small wins as you adjust to your new routine.
Use Technology to Stay Connected
When work allows, consider ways to stay connected to your child. A quick video call during breaks can give both of you a little boost, helping you feel more engaged with their day. However, it’s also okay to give yourselves time to adjust without over-connecting. Sometimes, too much checking-in can make the separation more challenging, especially for children who may find it hard to say goodbye repeatedly.
Celebrate Reunions
When you return home, spend a few dedicated moments reconnecting with your child. Whether it’s playtime, cuddles, or reading a book together, these little rituals reinforce that your time together is special. Your child will look forward to these moments, which helps make the day feel complete for both of you.
Finding Balance
The transition back to work is a unique journey for each family. By preparing your child, managing both their separation anxiety and your own, and setting up routines that fit your family’s needs, you’re setting up a foundation for a smoother transition.
With time, patience, and a little planning, your return to work can be a positive and fulfilling step for everyone.
And remember, as you navigate this new chapter, you’re setting a wonderful example of resilience and adaptability for your child.